Are you reducing the risk in your communication?

Every time we connect with another human being there is a risk that it won’t go as planned. The reason: people! There is no guarantee people will receive us as we intend, and if we bluster headfirst into the exchange without first understanding what we need to do to reduce the risk of getting it wrong or putting them offside, it makes it harder to get our message across. 

Recently I bought two new computers. I was nervous about the decision to move to a whole new operating system, from MAC to PC (and for 2 whole computers in my office), and the sales person could see my hesitation. Instead of trying to sell me on the benefits of why I should make the purchase, he dug deeper to understand my fears. He then said, if I wasn’t completely happy in two weeks, I could bring them both back and get a full refund. No risk, no fear, no brainer! I bought the computers. 

In communication, we can mitigate the risk of putting people offside, or starting off on the wrong foot, by changing our tonality, or even changing our height. Think about it, just like the salesman reduced my financial risk, sometimes we need to reduce the verbal or non-verbal risk. When adults ‘coo’ at babies they often do so in a high pitched whisper. This is reducing the verbal risk. Imagine holding a baby and yelling to it - how ‘HAPPY YOU ARE TO MEET HIM!’ Yikes! 

Similarly, parenting experts will tell you that if you want to be ‘heard’ by a child you should reduce your physical statue; bend down and get eye to eye with them. This makes interacting with you less scary and daunting. Less of a risk; easier to connect to.  

How do we reduce risk in our communication? 

The more we increase similarity, the easier it is to be bought by your listener, and the more compelling your communication will be.

We can reduce risk by increasing similarity. Match the person’s pace of speech, volume of speech, pitch and tonality. Pay attention to how much they move, how deeply they breathe and what they do with their gestures. The more we increase similarity, the easier it is to be bought by your listener, and the more compelling your communication will be. You might not have two new computers on the line, but if you treat every conversation with the feeling of a high stakes purchase – will they or won’t they buy your message - your heightened level of risk awareness will seal the deal more often than not.