When dealing with other people, our ‘truth’ becomes subject to a shared perception of fact. So much of what we understand to be objective truth must first be filtered through our subjective perspective. This means that even if the situation seems black and white and the facts are undeniable TO YOU, there is always the existence of grey because of the other person’s subjective interpretation of those facts. And it’s in the land of grey that we run into trouble.
Trying to influence someone by relying on facts, truth and logic can sometimes push them further away, strange as that sounds. For example, if a team member thinks that ‘running that report is hard’, then it doesn’t matter how much you ‘prove’ otherwise. Until you can acknowledge their perception, you will never be able to convince them that it’s not.
The ability to explore the grey space in the conversation is what allows a common black-and-white to become visible to both parties. In order to move forward together, both parties must be on the same page. To get on the same page, you have to acknowledge that different perceptions and interpretations are at play. Then you must seek to understand how these may be impacting the topic at hand and adjust your angle accordingly.
As a professional People Whisperer, Anneli has been working with leaders and teams to improve their communication and interpersonal intelligence for almost a decade.
If you’d like to improve your interpersonal effectiveness and influence, or decode the behaviours’ of others, contact Anneli today.
w: www.anneliblundell.com t: @AnneliBlundell
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