I recently walked around with a bunch of bananas on my head in the supermarket (as you do). I did this as part of a challenge issued at the last Professional Speakers Australia event. We were challenged to walk around the supermarket with bananas on our head and take a picture of it. Why? I hear you askโฆ To show how little others care about or take notice of what we are actually doing. To face into our fears of judgement, and to know that they are usually unfounded. This is about freeing us up to be perfectly imperfect humansโฆ and embracing it.
As humans we were born to hang together in packs, and so social acceptance is a big deal to us. Back in the day, if we got rejected from the tribe, it could lead to death. As I said, itโs a big deal (at least to our primitive brains). Fast forward to modern times and we find ourselves with the same desire to be accepted by others, to avoid judgement and to fit in.
But what are we really afraid of? We are not going to die if we wear bananas on our heads and no-one else is, so whatโs the big deal? What do we think will happen if we do something unusual, unexpected or outside of the norm? I can tell you, itโs not what you think.
When I walked around the supermarket like an oddball Carmen Miranda impersonator (sans the cherries), I got nothing, nada, zip, zilch by way of response, reprove or even reaction. It was fascinatingโฆ but not entirely unexpected. Hereโs why.
In psychology there is a phenomenon called the Spotlight Effect. Itโs the idea that we think people are paying more attention to us than they actually are. Like we are walking around under a big glaring spotlight, focused solely on us. Shining on our odd pair of socks, our mismatched earrings or the small stain on the hemline of our t-shirt. But it turns outโฆ theyโre not. Only we are. We are way more conscious of all the little things going on with us than others are. We blow up these little things and interact with the world like we have a big sign over our head that says โLook at my mismatching socks and laugh at me!โ But we donโt. And people don'tโ. And the world moves on.
Now you might think this sounds sad, that no-one is paying that much attention to us in their busy days, but I would argue that itโs liberating. All those things we worry about, we strive to get perfect, we hide for fear of judgement, unnoticed? Brilliant. Itโs time to relax. Itโs time to let go. Itโs time to adjust our expectations and realise we can push our limits far further than we think, before our fear of judgement is justified.
So, what does this mean for you?
What will you let go of worrying about, fretting about, or caring about, if you accepted that maybe, just maybe, youโre the only one paying attention to it?
And if you want to see the banana hat challenge videoed, check out these two brave souls.
This is Jeff Schwisow, Host of the Difference Project, who issued the original challenge to our group โ https://bit.ly/banana-hat-challenge
And this is Cam Fink, videographer extraordinaire who picked up the challenge and ran with it โ https://bit.ly/cameron-fink-post
Till next timeโฆ