A person cuts you off in traffic and glares at you when you beep the horn. Do you get angry?
A person cuts you off in traffic and waves apologetically when you beep the horn. Do you still get as angry?
Chances are, if the person shows some kind of remorse, regret or intention to do better, we feel less upset.
Why is this? If the act itself is so upsetting, why does our response to it become tempered, or accelerated, by the other persons’ part in it?
Was it the cutting us off that was really the thing that made us angry? Or was it that we then assume the person didn't care about us because of an outward lack of remorse or regret?
Why do we need to feel that the other person is sorry before we can let go of the anger or upset? What does it take to be able to forgive someone who is not sorry?
Most of the time we don't want to forgive someone who has upset us if they are not sorry, but unfortunately, the only one actually hurt by our emotions is us. Our health; our immunity; our bodies; our psyche – all of these things are affected by the negative emotions we hold in our system.
Next time you get angry at someone or something (and there is no sign of remorse on the horizon), ask yourself
“Are they worth this anger in my body?”
“Am I prepared to let them control my emotional state?”
And if the answer is no, then be like Anna and Elsa in Frozen and…… “Let it go!” 😊