If women want equality why do they congregate without men?
I sometimes get asked why I run courses exclusively for women. Why canโt women who want to progress their careers just go to a leadership development program, like men do? And if the program is about how to navigate your corporate career, why canโt men attend also? And while weโre on the subject, why are there so many women-focused events like โWomen in engineeringโ and โWomen in ITโ and โWomen in bankingโ? Why canโt the women just attend the regular events for engineering, IT and banking?
These are great questions (and interestingly, not always asked by men either). Whilst there are many reasons women tend to meet and learn with their own gender, there is one research-based reason thatโs worth exploring โ safe identity spaces.
Safe identity spaces
These are places where people feel seen and heard for who they are, and all that they are experiencing. When you are the only woman at an IT conference, it is not a safe identity space. You are the only person having your gendered experience, and it can feel risky to show your full self or speak to a perspective that no one else shares. You are different, you are on the outer. You are โthe otherโ.
In order for minority groups to get ahead in environments where the people donโt look, sound or act like they do, there needs to be a safe place they can go to get a handle on the unique challenges they face, and work out ways to navigate them. For example, the average man doesnโt have to worry about being too nice or too direct. They are seen as credible leaders either way. Women, on the other hand, receive a backlash for being too nice or too cold. They are either seen as โpolite pushoversโ or โbrash ball breakersโ, but rarely as simply โsupportiveโ or โassertiveโ. Issues like this are not covered in regular leadership programs, as the issue is only faced by the minority of leaders in attendance. It is not the norm and so it is not on the agenda. And so, women forge ahead, alone and unsupported, thinking the issue is just about them.
โWomen onlyโ environments allow women to explore the obstacles they face, together, with like-minded peers who understand, appreciate and experience the same thing. They learn that they are not going crazy, that itโs โnot just themโ and that it is something that legitimately needs to be addressed.
These networking groups and development programs give women the confidence and strategies to understand why regular career advice doesnโt always work for them, and what to do instead (โjust ask for a pay riseโ = unlikeable and penalised if not applying a specific strategy for women). It also means women can get a clearer understanding about the corporate landscape, and how they fit in. Their career path may not follow the same linear path that a manโs does, but with the right knowledge, support and guidance, women can find their own way to the top.
And thatโs why we have โwomen onlyโ events. There are times when growth and development need to be specific to the problem, and not general to the population.