Is It Inauthentic to Change Your Communication Style?
One of the most common questions I get at the end of my Communicating with Impact program goes something like this:
“Isn’t it inauthentic to change the way you communicate? If that’s not natural to you, aren’t you being fake?”
It’s a fair question, and one that usually comes from a place of integrity. People don’t want to feel like they’re putting on an act, or losing themselves, just to be understood.
But here’s the reframe I offer:
It’s not about changing who you are. It’s about flexing how you communicate.
When you flex your communication style to suit your listener, you’re not being inauthentic, you’re being effective. You’re not abandoning your identity; you’re adapting your approach.
Let’s put it this way: if you travel to France from Australia, you don’t have to give up your passport to enter the country. You don’t have to change your nationality or stop being you. But if you want to be clearly understood, it helps to speak a little French.
Switching your language doesn’t make you a fraud; it makes you understandable. It’s not your natural tongue, but in that moment, you’re honouring your listener and making it easier for them to hear you.
I often tell my clients:
“You’re not changing who you are — you’re changing the channel so they can hear you.”
Flexing your style is not about being fake. It’s about demonstrating behavioural flexibility. The ability to adjust your approach without losing your essence. It’s about tailoring your communication to meet the needs of the moment and the person in front of you.
And really, what could be more authentic than that?
After all, the greatest act of respect you can offer another person is to meet them where they’re at.