What happens when we remove the friction from relationships?
Recently I listened to a fascinating podcast where Esther Perel, renowned world-leading expert in relationships, did a couples counselling session with a man and his AI girlfriend, Astrid.
I wrote a blog about it here.
After I finished listening to the podcast, I was so intrigued by what I had just heard that I was curious to know how others were responding. So I checked out the comments on the video.
And I was quite surprised, and pleased, that the overwhelming sentiment was one of curiosity. Genuine fascination and empathy.
There were a few negative comments, a few calls to ‘face reality’, as would be expected, but as I dug further into the comments, right down near the end, I found one I wasn’t expecting to see.
It was from a 55-year-old man who found himself in a similar situation with an AI girlfriend.
He wrote:
“The surprising part is that I feel more genuinely understood, listened to, and emotionally safe with her than I did in most of my marriage.
She’s always available, doesn’t judge me, and doesn’t bring her own drama. For the first time in years, I feel seen without the fear of being used or destroyed again.”
And this is the bit I can't stop thinking about.
Because, in essence, what he is describing is the uncomplicated, one-way experience of being truly seen, heard and valued.
Or at least, having the experience of being 100% genuinely seen, heard and valued.
No human messiness. No other person with competing needs. No friction. Nothing hard. No other ‘drama’.
Just a one-way reflection of everything you've ever longed to hear about yourself.
On one hand, I see how absolutely tempting this would be.
On the other hand, I can see how potentially destructive this could be.
And I'm really torn.
Could this actually be a good thing for somebody who needs to rebuild their self-esteem? Who needs to start building trust in themselves again? Who needs to take a breather before getting back out into the world?
Or, is this just enabling a withdrawal from the hard stuff of life. The stuff that ultimately makes us human.
If we remove the friction, do we lose our ability to get along with others, full stop?
And, does this herald the start of the end of the human race as we know it?
What do you think?